Sunday, June 11, 2006
my whole stupid life is a screw up and im starting to screw up other pple's lives too.
today's absolutely the worst day of my life and its only 11am in the morning.
wow. thats 13 more hours to screw up.
first i screwed up baby's life, starting last night cos i pmsed on him when he said he'd be going m'sia today. i donno why i don't like him going to m'sia.
i'm selfish. i've had him for all 6 days this wk and i should be giving him alone time and all, but i'm the most un-understanding person in the whole wide world.
i know baby really had to go to collect his shirt and i went crazy last night psychoing myself to not get angry...
on the other hand, i admit that if he went, i wouldn't be angry, but i wouldn't be happy either.
and when i'm not happy i just dao him which makes things worse.
so ya i wasted my entire night being selfcentred.
and this morning he told me he wasn't going anymore cos he didn't want me to be unhappy.
see the way i screw up pple's lives? even the one i love the most. :(
didn't want to do my duty in church today so i smsed van late last night to ask her to help me coverup. she said i shd take responsibility for my own duty but i just ignored her.
and went to church late as usual.
result? she scolded me for being irresponsible and said that my duty's my own fucking problem and not hers.
at least she helped me with my duty.
but still, i made another person unhappy.
then i thot maybe seeing the nursery kids would cheer me up.
they did. for about 2 mins.
until my precious jadon eng came and oeii-ed at me. so i grabbed him tried to hug him but he didn't like it :(
so he locked me out of the nursery.
wow.
Posted by [dreams]* at 11:05 AM