Sunday, September 11, 2005
I'M EXPERIENCING THAT MONTHLY BOUT OF DEPRESSION.
only that this time, it seems to have come packaged with helplessless, loneliness, anxiety and panic.
maybe i'm pms-ing.
i sure hope so, otherwise these feelings are gonna last for a long long time.
somehow i've become so sensitive to everything around me that small matters get blown up.
not verbally of course.
just in my mind.
and that just adds to my anguish.
bleh. this is starting to sound like a suicidal note.
it's not okay? i'm just ranting. as usual.
maybe i'm a little worried cos school's starting tmr
and i haven't done much this whole wk.
not to mention that promos are coming in like 20 days' time?
and i've barely started revision?
on a lighter note, i'm gonna post something i did for my baby in exchange for what he did for me.
the 8th of sept post is not gross btw!! its super sweet!!!
I love..Your smile =D (definitely my fave part of u)
Your huge “innocent” brown eyes
Your super long eyelashes
Your abs (ooh I love how they feel so solid when I tickle you)
the way u make me feel so secure in your arms
the way you laugh (which kinda became the way I laugh now)
your padded shoulder!! Damn good replacement for my bed
the way u make me laugh cos of your stupid lame jokes
the way u make waking up so delightful cos of your morning smses
the way u come all the way to school just so we can go out after that (really appreciate that dear!!!! <3)
how u always say “are you tired?” and hug me after that
the way your palms get so sweaty when holding my hand
the way u put your arms around my shoulders and not around my neck!!! (rmb that girl who was being strangled by her bf)
the sound u make when u poke me “ti” or something like that right? Hahaha
the way u smell me
the smell of your cologne!!!!! Mmmm…
how u tried to warm my hands during the movie =D
how u always let me decide what movie to watch even tho u don’t wanna watch that movie
the way u satisfy my every whim and fancy
the way u occupy 99% of my thoughts ;)
how you stop playing dota when I need your attention (tsk I can’t believe I’m writing this)
the way u are so considerate eg u know when I want to sleep blahblah
how u’re so sensitive to my every need
your cuteness J (abit outta pt)
how u make me miss you so much that it hurts
how u always tell me that u feel like hugging me
how u make me love u so much more than I’ve ever loved any guy
the way u wipe your hands on your pants cos they’re sweaty (this shd be up there)
the way u’re my first thot in the morning and the last at nite (sounds cliché but its true!!!)
the way u’re so girly by carrying that weird black furball on your bag and the owl before that
your extremely high nonsense tolerance level
how u don’t get angry when I pangseh u (cos other pple get damn angry)
how u get more worried abt me than I am about myself
the way u said “wo bu zhi dao, wo shi ma lai ren” to that guy at suntec!
the way u come online the moment I ask u to
btw, that's 35 things i love about my baby k?
i was debating over whether to drop physics last nite.
i think most likely i will.
i get damn antagonized whenever i study physics.
even when i do understand.
and when it comes to practising, i just start tearing at my hair.
i was getting quite desperate when i started doing the electric fields tut which my baby helped me with.
but i'm quite paiseh to ask him for more help.
although i know he's more than willing to help, i don't like it very much when pple disturb me in the middle of smth..
which i'm sure i've been doing to him.
so last nite, i emailed nus and asked them what were my chances of getting into sci fac without physics.
ultimately, i want to be a math or chem tcher, and to do that, i need a deg in both math and chem.
OH! and listen to this yish!!
the starting pay of a tcher with a basic degree is a measly $2000+
and with honours? you get $3000!
i'm amazed at how teachers survive.
maybe they're all married to rich businessmen/women (like i'm gonna be in ... a few years time? hopefully!!)
or perhaps, they survive on their teachers' day presents.
wow, super long post.
chem tuition soon.
SIGH. i wish i'd gone to poly!!!
Posted by [dreams]* at 7:35 PM