Wednesday, August 24, 2005
i've grown up over the last hour.
i walked to the mrt alone today after my pw meeting.
having time alone was good. i thought alot about relationships.
and not just between me and hussein.
and you know what? when you think alot, you grow.
really. i mean thats if your thoughts are immature like mine are, most of the time.
but not today ok?
so i decided to blog about what i thought, cos i don't have the guts to tell these things to the people concerned.
i find i'm drifting away from sister gang.
especially huiqi..
we used to talk alot on the phone and in school
now when i see her, i donno what to talk abt.
and what interests me now, doesn't exactly excite her.
i don't blame her for that.
what you talk about is usually centred around what you do, who you hang around with.
and so obviously my natural topic of conversation is hussein la.
actually i think if i were her, i would be sick of hearing me talk, day in day out abt someone whom i don't give a damn abt.
but for the sake of friendship, i would listen because thats what a friend is for right?
anyway, today was seriously depressing.
its like the four of us were in the canteen.
then jasmine wanted to go buy drink. so naturally, yishu followed her.
so me and huiqi were left at the table.
you know what you did.
i know its not significant, but it hurt me. like alot.
its only been a few weeks into my relationship with h and i already feel so far away from you
btw, i'm not trying to sound lesbiany here k.. just trying to show how much friends especially sister gang matter to me.
if being in a relationship with him means drifting away from you all, then i'd rather not be in it.
cos friends are far more important to me than a boyfriend is.
even though i might feel damn miserable and helpless (maybe for a short while cos i depend on him so much emotionally), but at least i'll be close to you guys right?
so hmmm..
i didn't mean to rant, just to express what i feel cos i know i don't have the guts to tell you guys this..
i really miss crescent days where i never really felt left out.
when i knew i could and still can depend on besties like sam, me and huimin.
man, i love you guys loads.. :( absence does really make the heart grow fonder.
and pple who've stuck by the problematic, annoying, self obsessed me. clarence, elgin (even though i've known you for a mere 8 months).
and sam, who's always the first one i'd call if i have probs.
thanks for being there for me dear.. i really appreciate it :)
Posted by [dreams]* at 3:32 PM